Monday, April 8, 2013

Advice to the Women


Shaykh Ahmad Bazmool may Allah preserve him was asked:

We request from you some guidance for the women regarding spreading the salafi da'wah and also nurturing and educating the children upon this correct manhaj.

"There is no doubt that the mother is a teacher within the house and an educator to her child, so it is upon her first and foremost to obtain knowledge of the religion and to also understand from the lessons of the scholars and their books what the methodology of the salaf is.

Then afterwards, teach and educate her children upon this.  For indeed in this is a great good -if Allah the Exalted wills.  Also what is upon the mother to know regarding the child she is nurturing upon the salafi manhaj- and this is something the father should know as well- is that this young boy or young girl, if they are in fact nurtured upon the salafi manhaj and upon righteous deeds, then every righteous good deed they perform, you will have a reward of the like without that decreasing from their reward any. 

Indeed the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Whoever calls to something good they will have the like of the reward of whoever follows them in that good and this will not decrease from their reward any".  

He also said, "The one who shows another to good, will have the likes of the reward of the one who did the action". 

So it is upon the mother to be diligent in teaching her children good and that she must know that if her son or daughter spreads this good, the good from your daughter (or son), and the recipient of that knowledge will also benefit you.  

Also the prophet Salla Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said, "All of you are shepherds and all of you are responsible for your flock." 

Then he said, "And the woman is like a Shepherd over her home and she is responsible for her flock". 

You find some women who say: "I have nothing to do with this, this is the fathers responsibility, I'm not teaching the child."

This is an error because the messenger (Salla Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) is saying to you if you are able and qualified to teach the true methodology or to direct to the true methodology, he is saying you are responsible. What did you do regarding your child? You saw him or her listening to falsehood or doing acts of disobedience and you did not command them with the good or forbid them from evil.  

Furthermore it was mentioned in the biography of Imam Ash Shaafi'ee (may Allah have mercy upon him), that from those who played a great role in nurturing him upon knowledge and upon the correct methodology was his mother. 

She used to say to him, "Do not go to Hafs because he is an innovator," and she would forbid him from going to him. So my advice to the mothers first and foremost is to obtain knowledge of the religion ('ilm Ash-Shar'ee). What is the meaning of obtaining knowledge of the religion? It does not mean that you must learn every aspect of knowledge and that you be a student of knowledge or a scholar, because you have some women who say, "I'm not able to do that". 

We say to you: this is not what is meant, rather what is meant is that you obtain the knowledge of the religion which you are in need of and what you need to teach your children. This is something easy and not hard. Perhaps you sit and waste time speaking to other sisters and you waste your time in things that have no benefit and going out with sisters and visiting relatives and sometimes this occurs with the passing of days, nights and sometimes weeks wasting this time. Could you not spend an hour or half hour sitting with your child teaching them? 

You teach them, then see how they respond, then teach them and then see how they respond and so on and so forth. This can occur in minutes. How many times do children grow up and remember the advice of their mother and father and they say, "They taught me this or that" and it is useful in sticky situations.  So no doubt, the mother and father are from the most caring people that their child obtains what is good. So my advice to them is to first learn, then act upon what they know because the parent is also an example. They should not say, "O my child do not listen to music then they themselves go and listen to it". Do not say to them that the scholars say that anaasheed (Islamic songs) are impermissible but then you go and listen to anaasheed. So she must be an example and act (according to what she knows) then she teaches her child and practices this.

I also advise her that she uses gentleness and softness with her child and let the child know that she loves him or her. The affair should not be that she beats them or pushes them or speak harshly to them, except out of what necessity requires. So gentleness and showing her child(ren) she loves them will cause the child to follow their mother. 


Translated by Anwar Wright
27 Jumaad al Oolaa 1434
April 8th 2013
Blessed city of Makkah